I have a goal to drop weight…for mw
I dnt matter…not even to me…that sucks but hey il ither die of hatred towards myself or forever be happy not being happy
So today im going to counseling because of what happened to me as a kid. Im here now scared bc I dont know what to say. How do u express how u feel about ur brother takung advantage of u for eight yrs? How do u ecpress that after a while u wanted it? How do u make urself believe its not ur fault? And most of all do i talk about the burns n cuts are do i pretend they dont exist?
Hate feeling alone when u are indeed not alone. Maybe im too emotional or want too much time with u but id rather feel too much than feel nothing at all. Time is important to me. Especially time with you. I just want to make the best of EVERY moment. Is that so hard to understand? Can u not grasp that one little fucking point?! Idk…..just….idk….
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What’s the Point of Hiding
I do not understand why one has to hide one of the most painful things about them. A person who has diabetes doesn’t have to apologize for their sugar being too high or low…it is what they are diagnosed with. I am a diagnosed cutter and burner…its something i live with day in and day out. I know why i did it or have feelings to do it but i am not ashamed of myself. I have enough people hating me that i do not need to join the party too. It is not ok to self injure and if i could turn back the hands if time to that first time i put blade to skin or fire to hand i would stop myself from every doing it…but the fact is i have done it so it is a battle every day not to harm. Some days i don’t think of it at all and other days i do. I just don’t think its right for a person to judge someone for an act that they have yet to control. If someone wants to leave ur life because they don’t understand then they most go. I am not saying that they aren’t worth ur time…im just saying that a person dealing with a situation as of any self harm or disorder needs support that it will get better. That they understands that ur hurting and that they dnt find it ok but they will be there for u…they will help u get through it because love should be deeper than any mark one leaves on their skin. Idk…just a thought.
